Thursday, March 8, 2007

Knit, what else can I do?
So here's yet another hat. I think I've been knitting small projects all week to keep my hands and mind occupied. I'm having trouble coping with illness right now. My maternal grandfather (my Pop) has a 30 year history of heart disease. He's been through numerous procedures including by-pass surgery in the 70's, angioplasties, stent placements, removal of the pericardium, etc. He's always been so strong-- a real fighter. We always joked that he was like a Timex: "takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin"! But this time it's bad. There's nothing else that they can do for him. He's so skinny and weak. A shadow of his former self. I've always been very close to my maternal grandparents. It's just so hard to accept.

To top it all off, my paternal grandfather was admitted to the hospital on Friday night with cardiac problems. He's scheduled to have a mitral valve replacement, a huge open-heart procedure, tomorrow. Talk about adding to my stress. My dad's going to fly down to Florida from NY either tonight or tomorrow. I think he's going to be okay. I feel guilty that I'm not as worried or saddened by this as I am for my Pop. We were just never very close. I'm more concerned with my how my dad's mom is coping, but my dad will be there for her.

I made this hat for my Gram (my maternal grandmother). I know that there's nothing I can do to better this situation so I felt like I had to make something that I can give to her. I know it's not going to make up for the fact that she's going to lose her husband, but I feel totally powerless. It's just been really hard to come to terms with.
Update 3/14/07: My Pop passed late Friday night after I arrived in NY to see him for the last time. I got to tell him that I loved him. It was really hard. And, yes, my Gram loved the hat. I even knit my Mom a hat while I was home with my family ;-)